Welcome to The Pen Of The Muses! The posts below are often about theological, philosophical, political, lit., or writing topics because that's what's really important to me and what I'm most excited about sharing. But I am human. Man lives not by deep theological concepts alone. Not everything I post will be weighty.

-D.C. Salmon

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

"Opportunity" [by Edward Rowland Sill] Rewrite


There is a great battle in the desolate midst of the Desert of Doom. The two mighty nations arrange themselves for battle, with teeth gritted, eyes squinting in the brightness and the hatred. The ruthless sun glares down on the glittering metal that covers the soldier’s bodies. And then there is the mindless slashing, slicing, and stabbing of the two nations as they kick up a sand cloud that is seen for miles round in the Land of Doom.

I am the sword that a soldier splintered and threw down. I lay broken in the sandy dust as the battle raged around me, now silently I watch the blood spray, the swords ring, and the lives severed. My slivers lay sparkling about me in the midst of the chaos. My eyes grow dark and my limbs grow cold. Never more would a soldier grasp my solid hilt again, never more would I dance in the sun, cutting short the lives of mortal men, never more would I be placed quietly to rest after a long day’s slaughter in my sheath of soft leather. Now I lay in naught but death’s numb embrace, and the sanguine sands in the Land of Doom.

But then I feel a strong hand reach for me. I throw open my eyes and behold the glorious face of the king’s son. He regards me with a solemn eye, and then a smile leaps to his lips. He lifts my shattered form high above his head, giving a rousing battle-cry! Ah, the warriors fall like stalks of grass before the might of the prince that day, he rouses his men, and routes the enemy, sending them fleeing off into the very withering heart of the Land of Doom.

8 comments:

  1. you are invited to follow my blog

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  2. Yay! I can comment again! (for a while it was blog members only).

    And I see Steve Finnell has invited you to follow his blog. How nice. ;)

    I've always loved the "Opportunity" poem. I like how you rewrote it from the viewpoint of the sword. Is this an Omnibus assignment (or Composition)?

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    1. I'm glad you liked it Lauren. This was a Comp. II assignment. I love Comp. It's so great!

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  3. Well I'm going to comment on this on our homework forum but I thought I would finally come on the blog. :) I'm so jealous of how well you write. But it kind of make sense since you actually like it and I kind of hate writing. Anyways, I really liked it. (See the homework forum for more details). And your crazy right? I mean Comp 2 is cool. But it isn't GREAT!

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    1. Comp. II is amazing, and you know it. And I'm glad that you like my writing. ^_^

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  4. To tell you the truth I really don't know it. I have my ups and downs with it. Like right now I can't think of anything to write for this assignment. But other days I love it. And hey this timing is all messed up. It says I commented on 6:37. While it was more like 9 something.

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  5. Nice! I like your blog, by the way, (and I'm glad to hear that you like boots, too...) I'll be following, definitely. (P.S the only blog under my name currently is one I created for my father, just in case you click my name and think it's mine or something.) I'm working on my own... First I've heard of someone being enthusiastic about Comp II

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  6. This is really good, Coops. Great job! I love how you used the sword's perspective.
    I remember doing this for Comp 2 last year. I loved that class so much that I wish there was a Comp 3 lol

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